Six months...already??

Well, it has been six months since we transitioned our family into community living with our friends, the Zyps (see original post).  In some ways, it seems like forever ago when we sold our house and moved everything, and then in other ways, it seems crazy that it has already been six months!!  I can say that we absolutely love it!  The pros far out-weigh the cons.  Seriously, why don't more people do this?!!  Before we embarked on this adventure, we had some great advice...make it your goal to "out-serve" the other family.  I feel like both of our families have done this which is probably the biggest reason for our success so far.

I'm going to do my best recap some of the great things we have enjoyed these last 6 months as well as some of the things we haven't (if I can think of any!).

Benefits

1. Community - how great it is to live in community!  Our society is so driven by individualism and selfishness.  For obvious reasons, there is little opportunity to be selfish with material goods around here now!  I love having 8 people around the dinner table each evening.  I love having conversations and hearing 3 other opinions.  Not that these relationships in any way replace those of a marriage relationship or parent/child relationship...they just add to them!  I think God created us to encourage each other and hold each other accountable, and there are countless opportunities to do that when you see close and respected friends every day!
2. It doesn't work out every week, but we try to take turns every Friday night for one couple to have Date Night.  All parents with small children (and especially those without any immediate family close by) understand that this is something not to be taken lightly!  It is hard (and expensive!) to find a trusted babysitter for regular date nights, so it is great to be able to leave the kids home where they can have their normal bed time schedules with people we trust 100% while Jesse and I have some time alone.
3. I am only in charge of dinners (and grocery shopping) for the week every OTHER week.  And on the other weeks, we still get to eat a wonderful home cooked meal...and dessert most nights.  =)  And if Nikki or I need to run to the grocery store, it is really convenient to be able to go alone while the kids are napping!  Also, it's wonderful to be able to prepare meals with a friend instead of doing it alone.
4. As I know Nikki has posted before, many hands make work light.  Even though there are twice as many people, it really feels like half the cleaning, vaccuuming, mopping, dishes, etc.
5. It takes a village to raise a child.  I wouldn't consider us a "village" but training children is easier when there are other parents to share your joys, frustrations, questions, and concerns with.  It's nice to have a more objective third party for Jesse and I to collaborate with on parenting ideas and trials.
6. Even though I am not much of a drinker (ok, I don't like ANY alcohol!), it's such a great atmosphere to stand around the kitchen after the kids are all in bed, everyone else with a glass of wine, and discuss whatever we want!
7. It is wonderful that Jesse and Kris can get up at 4:30 in the morning to do "Dawn Patrol" (telemark skiing in the back country).  I don't think either of them would have gone as often as they did this winter if they were not living in the same house!  Nikki and I have also enjoyed some girl time together going to plays, movies, shopping, etc.  It's great when it's so easy to have some adult time with friends.
8. Nikki has hooked us on homemade bread.  We make at least 2 loaves a week (dough in the bread maker but cooked in the oven).  I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to store-bought bread again!

Drawbacks (or better labeled opportunities!)

1. With 4 kids ages 4 and under, there are many more opportunities for disagreements.  I view this as a good thing...it's actually more opportunities for them to learn conflict resolution!  Most of their toys are shared and in the common areas of the house, so they don't have the "mine" factor with very many things.  Conversely, there is nothing sweeter than watching the 4 of them play peacefully together.  Carter often plays "knights" and now he has two princesses to rescue.  =)
2. Hmmm...can't think of any more.

That's our 6-month experience in a nut shell.  You may think we're crazy, but I wish we would have been able to do this sooner!

Comments

[Nikki]

Great post and I couldn't agree more. Actually I can think of a big drawback....when a package gets delivered and I get so excited only to find out it's for the Allen family. ;-)

[jen]

Thanks for sharing your experience. It reveals to me some areas I could really work on. I think the co-living requires an admirable amount of vulnerability and selflessness (which most of us, myself included, are so resistant to). I respect the four of you..."As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"